Real World vs Social Media
For many people in their early twenties now, there's no memories of a time before social media. I don't know if that's good or bad.
Back in those days, your social circle was made up of those you encountered in your daily life. It was your co-workers, your neighbors, people at church, and your family. If you had someone you thought was an idiot in your workplace, you had to learn to tolerate their idiocy. That's still true to a certain extent, except with social media we no longer have to rely on these people to be the close friends we can vent to or have deep discussions with.
One example I can think of that might have been more intrinsic to the area of New York I grew up in is racism. Let's be honest, a lot of white people will say things in front of white people they think is okay because we're all white therefore we must all think the same way (not true, by the way). When your neighbors came out with things like this and you lived in an all-white neighborhood, you had to tolerate it and keep your mouth shut, lest you find yourself ostracized and your children as well. I've mentioned before the town I grew up in became integrated over the years. My parents endured comments such as "you have to make a decision" when African-Americans moved in next door to us. Their response was "we already have." These were people they considered friends that they encountered in their daily lives, and remained friends with.
One of my earliest real jobs I worked with someone around the same age as me whose brother frequently got into trouble by his own doing. One night he was in a predominantly African-American area of Long Island, likely looking for drugs. Something went wrong and he ended up in the hospital with his jaw wired shut, among other things. A few months later, New York experienced the Howard Beach incident where a group of black men whose car had broken down and were seeking help were beaten and chased by a group of white men. Howard Beach was a very Italian, very racist part of Queens. I know because I lived there briefly and had neighbors actually scream at me for bringing a black friend to my apartment. Anyway, as we discussed this at work, this woman said "they didn't belong there" to which I replied "oh, like your brother didn't belong where he was?" Somehow it was okay for her to voice the opinion that black men didn't belong in Howard Beach. I ended up having to apologize to her to make peace at work - a forced situation because it's part of the social circle one had to tolerate at the time. The lesson was also learned about biting my tongue with people in order to "get along" at times.
Thanks to social media, I can surround myself with people where I don't have to bite my tongue about how much I hate racism. Maybe it's not the best, because there are people I once liked who showed their true colors throughout the last nine years or so that I no longer speak to. On the other hand, it's nice to know that so many other people are as mortified as I am by what they see going on in this country. There's reassurance that I'm not crazy to feel the way I do; that other well-educated and respected people see things the way I do.
Of course, the flip-side of that is also true. For those that are racist, they find reassurance with other racists on social media. They feel like it's okay to voice opinions they would have had to be silent about to get along with others in the days before social media. That's also true of the homophobic, the xenophobic, the selfish, the malicious, and others out there. It's made it easier for them to find like-minded individuals as well and empowered them, in addition to having a President who spouts the same ignorance that they do.
I prefer it, though. I prefer having friends across the miles that I know feel the way I do. It's not like we get together and discuss this stuff all the time. When we are together we act much the same way I always did with my friends. The difference is I know their hearts better and I think that's made as closer, even while we don't see each other in person as much as I might see others.
Back in those days, your social circle was made up of those you encountered in your daily life. It was your co-workers, your neighbors, people at church, and your family. If you had someone you thought was an idiot in your workplace, you had to learn to tolerate their idiocy. That's still true to a certain extent, except with social media we no longer have to rely on these people to be the close friends we can vent to or have deep discussions with.
One example I can think of that might have been more intrinsic to the area of New York I grew up in is racism. Let's be honest, a lot of white people will say things in front of white people they think is okay because we're all white therefore we must all think the same way (not true, by the way). When your neighbors came out with things like this and you lived in an all-white neighborhood, you had to tolerate it and keep your mouth shut, lest you find yourself ostracized and your children as well. I've mentioned before the town I grew up in became integrated over the years. My parents endured comments such as "you have to make a decision" when African-Americans moved in next door to us. Their response was "we already have." These were people they considered friends that they encountered in their daily lives, and remained friends with.
One of my earliest real jobs I worked with someone around the same age as me whose brother frequently got into trouble by his own doing. One night he was in a predominantly African-American area of Long Island, likely looking for drugs. Something went wrong and he ended up in the hospital with his jaw wired shut, among other things. A few months later, New York experienced the Howard Beach incident where a group of black men whose car had broken down and were seeking help were beaten and chased by a group of white men. Howard Beach was a very Italian, very racist part of Queens. I know because I lived there briefly and had neighbors actually scream at me for bringing a black friend to my apartment. Anyway, as we discussed this at work, this woman said "they didn't belong there" to which I replied "oh, like your brother didn't belong where he was?" Somehow it was okay for her to voice the opinion that black men didn't belong in Howard Beach. I ended up having to apologize to her to make peace at work - a forced situation because it's part of the social circle one had to tolerate at the time. The lesson was also learned about biting my tongue with people in order to "get along" at times.
Thanks to social media, I can surround myself with people where I don't have to bite my tongue about how much I hate racism. Maybe it's not the best, because there are people I once liked who showed their true colors throughout the last nine years or so that I no longer speak to. On the other hand, it's nice to know that so many other people are as mortified as I am by what they see going on in this country. There's reassurance that I'm not crazy to feel the way I do; that other well-educated and respected people see things the way I do.
Of course, the flip-side of that is also true. For those that are racist, they find reassurance with other racists on social media. They feel like it's okay to voice opinions they would have had to be silent about to get along with others in the days before social media. That's also true of the homophobic, the xenophobic, the selfish, the malicious, and others out there. It's made it easier for them to find like-minded individuals as well and empowered them, in addition to having a President who spouts the same ignorance that they do.
I prefer it, though. I prefer having friends across the miles that I know feel the way I do. It's not like we get together and discuss this stuff all the time. When we are together we act much the same way I always did with my friends. The difference is I know their hearts better and I think that's made as closer, even while we don't see each other in person as much as I might see others.
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