Thoughts from the Mountain Top

About a month ago, in a Jeep Wrangler forum, someone started a thread with how offensive he found this sentiment.  You can search the internet and find there are a lot of products with the statement "Silly boys... Jeeps are for girls" on it.  I find it to be fun.  I have it on my Wrangler.  To me, it's an empowering sentiment as for many years "girls" or "women" weren't thought of in the rough and tumble world of four-wheeling.  We were supposed to be the delicate flowers at home, ready to clean the mud off of the men when hey returned. I followed the thread for a bit and most of the posters chided him for being ridiculous.  He was truly offended by it and it became obvious that seeing this statement was something he took as a poke at his manhood.  He didn't know he person who owned the vehicle, so it wasn't a statement directed at him, it's just a general joke out there.  It doesn't say anything specific about someone's race,...

One thing I know is normal for people who have experienced traumatic events and depression is difficulty opening up to people.  It's something I struggle with quite a bit.  In addition, people who I have trusted in the past have betrayed me when I needed them.  It means people are at arm's length in general. I almost could feel that wall go up the day my daughter died.  It was like a part of me broke off and was locked away.  Subsequently, I learned people don't want to see you grieve, as much as they say they will be there.  Eventually you become a drag and they want to move on so they do, while you are still mourning.  You get the email that says your sadness is "making them sick." You live, you learn.  You put up a public facade.  Sometimes it cracks, but mostly to the outside world they see the person you know they want to see.  They don't see the "real" you - what is going on under the facade.  They don't see the nights you s...

The title is something I say kidding around every now and then, but it was true this morning when I scrolled through my Facebook feed and saw the photo here shared by not one, but two acquaintances of mine. Fuck you.  Fuck you all.  Fuck you, person who created this and fuck you, people who shared it. I looked at the person's profile (and before you chide me for not blocking out his name - he made it public, so fuck him) and of course, Trump supporter, support the troops, blind allegiance to all things right-wing.  Wanna make a bet he's never actually known a Veteran who's committed suicide?  It's just okay to trot them out and use them to score political points.  Your blind allegiance to the Orange Turd in office is part of the problem you idiotic douchebag.  Sharing a sentiment on Facebook is his version of "supporting  the troops" while doing nothing to prevent it from happening to more people.  Why not help get people elected who AREN'T cutt...

It was coming into a rough time for me already although I have to say as far as the last five years go, this has been one of the better ones.  I have a job I'm doing well at, I have good friends to hang with who I know have my back, and a fairly positive outlook. Last year wasn't so good.  I cratered pretty bad.  I can't describe the distress, but I was seriously considering checking myself into a mental hospital or other facility.  I didn't want to be here; I didn't want to do anything but lay in bed and not get up. This year, none of that. Then yesterday happened.  Anthony Bourdain, someone I greatly admire and live vicariously through, ended his life.  He's been honest about his addiction and alcoholism through the years, as well as the demons he battled.  Looking at his life, though, he seemed to have conquered those demons.  He was a very successful and admired person who brought the world into people's homes and expanded their horizons....