Dress Codes - I Am Not a Character in Your Life "Show"

In the news today, United Airlines kicked a couple of teenagers off one if its flights for wearing leggings.  The explanation is deeper than what it appears on the surface - they were traveling on a companion pass of an employee and there is a dress code for using that privilege.  Airlines see it as you representing the company when you get to travel for free and have set certain standards.

I have no issue with dress codes at work or school when they are unbiased.  When I was in high school, at one point shorts were banned.  Late spring or early fall in a school on Long Island, New York with no air conditioning was not pleasant. Athletic uniforms were allowed, and the boys on the lacrosse team would come every day in their uniforms, consisting of shorts and a jersey, while the rest of us were dying in jeans.  A friend of mine who would later be the salutatorian of our class, got fed up and started wearing shorts to school, daring them to suspend her.  The argument she made was that the code was biased because it allowed boys to wear shorts and not girls.  The ban on shorts was soon lifted.

Once this discussion gets started, inevitably what comes out of the woodwork are the people who bemoan how others dress, period.  "Leggings are not pants."  No, they aren't.  I actually find them to be much more comfortable. However, the ones I bought recently aren't comfortable to me in a cold climate so I generally don't wear them outside.  I will be taking several pair with me on trips this summer because they are comfortable long pants that hopefully won't make me overheat like jeans would that time of year.

"I wish people would take pride in their appearance."

Maybe they do.  Maybe their idea of what they look good in isn't the same as yours.  I'm not talking about the various shots on the Peope of Walmart webpage.  I'm talking normal, everyday life.  To some people, their appearance is worth 5 minutes of their time before they go out.  Run a brush through their hair, wash their face and hands, and go.  Others might put the value of their appearance at 10 minutes.  Maybe they like to freshen or apply make-up and change clothes before they go.  Still others might spend a great deal of time perfecting their appearance.

"Nobody dresses up like they used to."

Why should they?  I hate "dressing up."  I always have and always will.  Why should I be forced to?  I don't plan to attend events with a strict dress code that would mean a gown and heels.  In fact, I have never owned heels that I recall.  I didn't even wear them for my wedding.  I hate them with a passion.  Not to mention, my orthopedic doctor has recommended sneakers with strong ankle support for me to wear on a regular basis.  If I am getting on a plane, why not wear what I will be comfortable in for an hour or ten?  That's usually jeans or shorts and a t-shirt or sweatshirt.  Even when I have gone on cruises, I have done fine with one of my summer dresses and flat shoes.  Anything more formal than that, you won't find me at.  I would never force my husband into a suit - he doesn't have one that fits him anymore anyway and I've never bought a suit for my son.

The point is, I am covered.  I am presentable.

I bring up cruises because in the past I've read comments from people who decry how people dress on cruises, particularly for "formal night."  I can't understand why that is so upsetting to people.  The answer, I've found, is that they usually don't see the people around them as human beings with their own set of standards and level of comfort, but more as characters in the play of their life.  They want to play dress-up so everyone else must too.  I have no issue with people that like to dress up - more power to you if that's what you like.  However, expecting the rest of the world to indulge in your fantasy of being at a ball or whatever is not our obligation.  If a the ship's dress code is met, but someone doesn't wear the gowns or tuxes that you think they should, that is not anyone else's problem.  I would venture a guess that more people stayed away when the dress code was that strict.  It's all a matter of economics.

If someone wears leggings because they are comfortable, how does that harm you?  If someone wears a comfortable dress to a formal dinner and not a ball gown, how does that harm you?  If someone attends church in jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers, how does that harm you?

The answer is - it doesn't.





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