Thoughts from the Mountain Top

Women marry men hoping they will change... Men marry women hoping they will not... Having been in both couples and individual therapy a number of times over the years, I've heard this said a few times, both in a therapy setting and in the public at large.  I take issue with it. The world I got married in back in 1993 is quite different than the world is now.  I was on the "internet" back then, or at least Compuserve and several BBS having been a computer programming major at our community college.  It wasn't the intrinsic part of our lives that it is now.  I would say I spent far more time in the campus library than I did online.  Cell phones didn't exist for the most part.  Since my spouse worked on the road, he had a pager and I would beep him when I needed to talk to him about something and he would call me from a pay phone when he got the chance.  I used a program for all of our finances, even back then, but everything arrived in the mail regar...

I'm watching in my Disney groups as people freak out over a new policy announced at three Disney World Resorts: Beginning with the three monorail resorts near the Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World Resort Hotels will no longer provide guests with “Do Not Disturb” signs to put on their doors. The signs will be replaced with “Room Occupied” signs that will notify cast members that guests are in the rooms. However, these guests will be “disturbed” at some point, as it will now be required that a Disney employee enter their hotel room at least once a day to ensure guest safety. If you choose to forgo housekeeping on a given day, the Disney nomenclature states that “the hotel and its staff reserve the right to enter your room for any purposes including, but not limited to, performing maintenance and repairs or checking on the safety and security of guests and property.” Disney states that cast members will give reasonable notice prior to entering by knocking and announcing that they w...

Before I write this, let me preface this by saying I have the utmost love and respect for teachers.  I have friends who are teachers and I know most of the time they get a raw deal.  They spend way more hours than they are ever compensated for working for their students and classes, and often spend money out of their own pockets that they will never see back - even with the measly $250 tax credit that Republicans want to take away.  So if your response is going to be to tell me how much good other teachers do, relax, I already know . I saw this meme today, and didn't think much about it until someone wrote a comment: Those discouraging words stick as well. Sadly, students are more likely to hear those. I remember those discouraging words.  Those discouraging words are probably the reason I don't write professionally in any way and never pursued a career in any kind of writing, no matter how much I enjoyed it when I was younger. I was in the 4th grade and...

SPOILERS INCLUDED AHEAD!!!!  IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE, I RECOMMEND YOU DO NOT CONTINUE READING My first thought was how much I cried.  And it was for a number of reasons.  This was Carrie Fisher's last Princess Leia film.  It was not how her story was supposed to end, which make the events of the film even that more tragic.  The next film was supposed to be the "Princess Leia" film and you can see the foreshadowing as to what she was going to do there.  That story was stolen from us by the Grim Reaper. I cried because I'm sentimental.  I'm the person who can't throw things out because I know the story attached to them.  I can't even clean my kids room or throw away their school projects.  I have a whole houseful of my parents stuff that no one wants that I can't just throw away. It's apparent after The Last Jedi, that the Star Wars universe I grew up on is over.  The obvious plan now was Han Solo dies in movie #1, Luke Skywalker ...

This is the story of my faith journey.  If it doesn't interest you, don't read it.  It might provide some background for those who are interested though. Despite what others may think, the only qualification to call yourself a Christian is a belief that Jesus Christ is the son of God.  I firmly believe that.  I believe in God and I believe there's an after-life.  Everything else is up for grabs. There are many things we don't understand.  Some people can accept that.  Some people can't.  Some people need an authoritarian church where they are told what to think and believe.  Some people are fine with asking questions and examining beliefs and coming to very different conclusions.  I am firmly in that last camp and have been for some time. I don't remember the first Pastor of the church I attended very well.  He was more of the authoritarian type.  I'm glad for that.  He helped facilitate my adoption and for that I am grate...

Well I walked into the proverbial lion's den today. I've never been shy about expressing my faith and what it means to me.  I'm not an Evangelical Christian (despite the denomination I participate in being the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America).  Indeed, I've been told by "those people" I'm not really a Christian because I haven't been born-again and I couldn't care less about their opinion.  I've found positive faith communities online as well that express how I feel in the writings of John Pavlovitz and The Christian Left. I have friends who are atheists.  I've never felt the need to preach to them or try to convert them.  We are all entitled to our beliefs or dis-beliefs.  Some of the most gracious, charitable people I know are atheists. There are always people who are radical in their faith.  We see that with Muslims and right-wing Christians.  There are also radical atheists.  I've experienced that more and more.  They are jes...

(warning, graphic sexual language ahead) Yesterday on Facebook I posted an article about how Faux News host Laura Ingraham lamented the face that all of these "new" sexual assault allegations were putting a damper on holiday parties.  The exact wording was "sexual harassment and abuse." The article in question had the headline:  Fox complains women reporting rape will make Christmas parties less “festive” .  I picked up on the headline and used my own comment: Yeah, just imagine how awful those holiday parties will be when you can't look forward to raping a co-worker. Imagine my surprise (not) when a casual friend of mine who is well-known for his right-wing views but typically doesn't feel the need to crap on other people's pages with them decided to take umbridge at the wording. That's right, not the behavior.  The wording. We're "throwing around the word rape" in his eyes. Well thank you right-wing white male, I'll consult with...

For many people in their early twenties now, there's no memories of a time before social media.  I don't know if that's good or bad. Back in those days, your social circle was made up of those you encountered in your daily life.  It was your co-workers, your neighbors, people at church, and your family.  If you had someone you thought was an idiot in your workplace, you had to learn to tolerate their idiocy.  That's still true to a certain extent, except with social media we no longer have to rely on these people to be the close friends we can vent to or have deep discussions with. One example I can think of that might have been more intrinsic to the area of New York I grew up in is racism.  Let's be honest, a lot of white people will say things in front of white people they think is okay because we're all white therefore we must all think the same way (not true, by the way).  When your neighbors came out with things like this and you lived in an all-whit...

Yesterday I read through a Facebook post of a Disney friend I have "known" for quite some time.  I have been in the Disney fan community on the internet for more than 20 years.  There are people from there that are among my closest friends.  There are others I haven't met in real life, but from seeing their posts in the community that long, you can be a pretty good judge of character. In this case, the person's co-host of a Disney podcast came out with a story of an incident of sexual assault which happened to her.  That person is also someone I have "known" for a long time in Disney circles.  In addition, a picture was taken of the incident by friends of hers who were there.  A complaint sent to Disney with the picture apparently was found to be legit enough that they sent her a check for $500 in compensation which she promptly tore up.  It's not about money.  It's about making sure other women don't go through the same thing. The person is ques...

A few years ago, while working nights at a hotel in New Hampshire, I spend a few hours in conversation with a Kucinich supporter who was working for his campaign.  It was interesting as I am generally liberal.  I am also pragmatic.  The ideas sound great, I said to the man, how are you going to make it happen with at least half of Congress seeing things differently, even if he was elected? Why, you MAKE them see it, he said. Liberals are at fault at times when their arrogance when they are so sure they are right, causes them to not see the fault in their argument, or the effect of their words. From writing on the internet I made a number of acquaintances over the years.  Some have turned into true friends, others just stay acquaintances, others I have put out of my life for various reasons.  I came across someone a couple months back who I knew but I wasn't friends with.  We're generally on the same page with things politically.  I had a nagging feelin...

Last year, I publicly admitted for the first time that I had been date-raped.  It was a secret I kept for a long time, blaming myself for being in a situation I thought I should have been smart enough not to be in.  It was only when a male friend pulled the secret out of me and let me know in no uncertain terms that I was not to blame for what happened that I finally began to face what really had happened. #MeToo is the most recent social-media campaign to raise awareness of just how many women (and men too) have been subjected to sexual assault and harassment in their lives.  Some people are shocked by the number of people posting #MeToo in their timelines. I'm not shocked. And it's not going to change. It's not going to change because the culture is not going to change.  It's not going to change because the people who get off on this write it off as "locker room talk" and make it seem like if you can't take the joke you're "uptight" - t...

The "earth-shattering" revelations about mega-producer Harvey Weinstein over the past few days have cost him his career.  It should really come as no surprise to anyone involved in the entertainment industry, though.  One need only watch the show Entourage to get an idea of just how misogynistic Hollywood is. I binge-watched the show recently and thought it to be much of a comedy or exaggeration.  It was fun.  Then I got to the last season.  You see, for all the no-holds-barred misogyny it displayed, the last few shows it tried to back-peddle and show that what I had viewed wasn't really misogyny at all.  The endless quest for nightly pussy, treating women as faceless hook-ups season after season, and having the Ari Gold character regularly refer to his business associates as "cunts" are all supposed to be okay in the end. Even when it seems like the men of Entourage will face the music for their behavior, they manage to avoid consequences....

Yes, I'm a NASCAR fan.  If you're not, don't even bother reading this.  I don't need lectures on how I shouldn't be watching it as a liberal or how sports are stupid.  I like NASCAR, baseball and football quite a lot, although baseball games are the only ones I really enjoy live.  The rest I enjoy from the comfort of my living room. The boys in my life are at the race today in Loudon, NH.  It's the last time New Hampshire Motor Speedway will host a race that's part of the NASCAR "playoffs" known as The Chase.  This is the last year there are two races there - the only place that hosts NASCAR races in New England.  From now on, there's one race there, in July. The answer can't be the fans.  There are racetracks operating all over New England on a smaller level.  Joey Logano considers this his "home track" even though he's from Connecticut.  The only other places close to here that host races are Watkins Glen, NY, Pocono, P...

As a child, I absolutely adored the "Little House" books.  I still do.  I was surprised when I wrote at Epinions for all those years that some of the books hadn't been reviewed there.  I took care of that. The books were simply written for a child or young adult audience.  That is quite obvious when you read them from an adult perspective.  It's also interesting when you explore beyond the books and find out stories about the family that weren't selected to be a part of the books.  For that reason, I participate in several groups about "the REAL Laura Ingalls Wilder."  (Don't even get me started on the television show - about the only similarity are the names.) NPR recently published a story with the headline "Should We Read It To Our Children".  In some ways, this was a poor choice of a headline.  It was posted to the group by someone with an agenda of course (he would later rage against his tax dollars being used to support NPR).  Th...

I've made no bones about the fact that I am fairly liberal.  However, there are many people out there who are just as radical on the left as there are on the right.  I've written before about how some of the messages they are sending play exactly into the hands of those on the right who want to play divide and conquer.  It's a dangerous thing.  Some of the messages make me as disgusted with them as I am with the racists on the right. They proclaim loudly how "tolerant" they are - but the truth is they have their own biases.  Most of them are against religion.  I am a Christian.  I hate the mega-churches as much as they do.  I despise people who support candidates from the pulpit.  For as much as the accusations got thrown around that the Left treated President Obama as the "messiah", radical right-wing Christians are as bad (if not worse) when it comes to Trump. All that does not excuse the hate by many on the left for those of us who practic...

The title is a statement I heard today from someone in the debate about the police brutality out there.  Most of us realize this is not true.  Philando Castile was doing nothing wrong.  He obeyed everything the police officer told him to do. He told him that he was legally carrying a weapon.  He reached for his wallet as the officer told him to do.  He still ended up dead. Regardless of that, there is the matter of what police are really after when they question you about something.  Just as all police officers aren't like the officer who murdered Castile, not all police investigate a cast the way I'm about to tell you.  There are enough, though, that I would not talk to them without a lawyer.  Investigations do not happen like we see on television.  Many times, the police create a narrative then search for evidence to fit that narrative, rather than seeking justice and the truth. I worked for a freight company near Kennedy Airport in NYC. ...

Over the past eight years (at the very least) those of us who tend to "lean left" have been subject to a barrage of hate, disdain, and abuse from those who disagree with us.  This was particularly the case after the United States' first African-American President was elected.  Racism that bubbled beneath the surface for years boiled to the surface. I'd keep seeing this characterization of "liberals" as some type of coward who sat in a corner crunching on granola.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Liberals are actually more courageous, preferring the randomness of "the undiscovered country" - the future - to the comfort of a false history.  They tend to see the world as it really is, rather than some false Norman Rockwell-like painting. I put up with threats and intimidation tactics from people who assumed liberals never touched a gun or knew anything about them.  I thing this false image gave the taunters and abusers a level of comfort - t...

Living in a small town that is largely built on tourism makes for an interesting cross-section of people.  After all, the things people come here to enjoy are the same things that drove me to move here.  I was the tourist that came to visit, and I am now the local. I found in my years working at the hotel that the tourists have a pretty simplistic view of locals.  They see us all as ignorant and talk down to us.  They treat us as if the fact that they decided to come visit our town means they are entitled to treat everyone as servants.  We even get "hair flip" letters our local paper is only too happy to publish, fueling the hate part of our love/hate relationship with the tourists. We have an attraction known as Diana's Bath.  It's a series of waterfalls that was once the site of a sawmill and is now a popular swimming area.  It's part of the White Mountain National Forest and operated under the U.S. Forest Service.  The parking lot isn't exactly...

Anyone who has followed me knows I'm pretty liberal.  One issue where I differ from the typical liberal is gun control.  I just don't think it's possible with the number of firearms already in circulation to prevent the majority of shootings that happen.  Does that mean we shouldn't try?  No, not at all.  I believe in closing the loophole of private sales and treating guns the same way we treat vehicles when it comes to selling and transferring titles.  This will create a paper trail, at the very least.  In addition, I don't think someone should be allowed to own a weapon without taking a gun safety class, similar to the way we get driver's licenses. Beyond that, I'm not sure there's much we can do.  I listen to the arguments, and I agree we should likely get the rapid-fire weapons such as AK-47's out of circulation.  They serve no purpose except to kill a lot of people in a short amount of time.  If you're that paranoid that you think w...

The other day a lovely rant appeared in my Facebook stream about how the South might have lost the Civil War but they were in the right and by gum, just look at all that area!  The south is rising again! Praise Jesus! Okay, I"m paraphrasing because the "lady" was booted out of the airlock so fast I didn't think about copying her post for entertainment purposes.  But that was the general gist of it.  It was all talking about the Civil War and how the South was coming back. Let's get something straight: the Civil War, from the point of view of the south, was about a bunch of rich, white men convincing stupid, poor white men to fight for their right to keep black people as slaves. Hold on, what about States rights?  What about them?  There was no issue between the signing of the Constitution and the start of the Civil War that was "states-rightsy" enough that anyone wanted to go to war about it.  But a bunch of rich white guys being told they couldn't ...