Evolution of a Christian
This is the story of my faith journey. If it doesn't interest you, don't read it. It might provide some background for those who are interested though.
Despite what others may think, the only qualification to call yourself a Christian is a belief that Jesus Christ is the son of God. I firmly believe that. I believe in God and I believe there's an after-life. Everything else is up for grabs.
There are many things we don't understand. Some people can accept that. Some people can't. Some people need an authoritarian church where they are told what to think and believe. Some people are fine with asking questions and examining beliefs and coming to very different conclusions. I am firmly in that last camp and have been for some time.
I don't remember the first Pastor of the church I attended very well. He was more of the authoritarian type. I'm glad for that. He helped facilitate my adoption and for that I am grateful. His wife and my mother were friends for a long time in life, but my mother also grew past having an authoritarian figure telling her how she should think and feel as a "Christian."
The second Pastor I also don't remember well as a Pastor. We were friends for many years, though. I went to different churches he presided at a number of times when my parents visited him. He was definitely more open than the first Pastor was.
The third Pastor was the one I really grew up under. I am still friends with him and his family. I babysat his kids and introduced them to MTV. He is definitely more open and liberal and doesn't mind a good discussion. He told my parents more than once I gave him a run for his money.
He was Pastor of our church for more than 10 years, during the time I was confirmed and afterwards, so it was when I was the most impressionable. I credit him for a lot of the openness I have towards belief and faith.
The Pastor who succeeded him was not at all like him, and one of the reasons we left that church for another. It broke my parents' heart. They founded the church that they eventually felt they could not attend any longer because of the preaching of the newest Pastor. I remember being persuaded to go on Christmas and listening to one of the most depressing sermons I've ever heard.
I was fortunate to find the church that an Uncle attended not too far from there. We had a woman Pastor, which was a first for my family. I was a single Mom with a daughter in the early 1990's and I was not going to be treated as if I'd done something I needed to be ashamed of. Fortunately, that wasn't the case here. She had a very open atmosphere in the church and I enjoyed attending there and bringing my daughter there. I was eventually married there.
After getting married, I lost my job and chose to work part-time for the church when an offer was made. This meant there were many days of philosophical discussion. She also worked with our local Synod and I had exposure to the inner workings of the church hierarchy. I did work for the Synod as well at times. I worked for a faith-based community organizer group as well, which exposed me to those of many different faiths. And I had many conversations and absorbed it all.
Despite what others may think, the only qualification to call yourself a Christian is a belief that Jesus Christ is the son of God. I firmly believe that. I believe in God and I believe there's an after-life. Everything else is up for grabs.
There are many things we don't understand. Some people can accept that. Some people can't. Some people need an authoritarian church where they are told what to think and believe. Some people are fine with asking questions and examining beliefs and coming to very different conclusions. I am firmly in that last camp and have been for some time.
I don't remember the first Pastor of the church I attended very well. He was more of the authoritarian type. I'm glad for that. He helped facilitate my adoption and for that I am grateful. His wife and my mother were friends for a long time in life, but my mother also grew past having an authoritarian figure telling her how she should think and feel as a "Christian."
The second Pastor I also don't remember well as a Pastor. We were friends for many years, though. I went to different churches he presided at a number of times when my parents visited him. He was definitely more open than the first Pastor was.
The third Pastor was the one I really grew up under. I am still friends with him and his family. I babysat his kids and introduced them to MTV. He is definitely more open and liberal and doesn't mind a good discussion. He told my parents more than once I gave him a run for his money.
He was Pastor of our church for more than 10 years, during the time I was confirmed and afterwards, so it was when I was the most impressionable. I credit him for a lot of the openness I have towards belief and faith.
The Pastor who succeeded him was not at all like him, and one of the reasons we left that church for another. It broke my parents' heart. They founded the church that they eventually felt they could not attend any longer because of the preaching of the newest Pastor. I remember being persuaded to go on Christmas and listening to one of the most depressing sermons I've ever heard.
I was fortunate to find the church that an Uncle attended not too far from there. We had a woman Pastor, which was a first for my family. I was a single Mom with a daughter in the early 1990's and I was not going to be treated as if I'd done something I needed to be ashamed of. Fortunately, that wasn't the case here. She had a very open atmosphere in the church and I enjoyed attending there and bringing my daughter there. I was eventually married there.
After getting married, I lost my job and chose to work part-time for the church when an offer was made. This meant there were many days of philosophical discussion. She also worked with our local Synod and I had exposure to the inner workings of the church hierarchy. I did work for the Synod as well at times. I worked for a faith-based community organizer group as well, which exposed me to those of many different faiths. And I had many conversations and absorbed it all.
There was a time when I was on the path to being a Bible literalist. The conversations we had took me away from that as I realized we were often reading translations of translations that could not be understood except in the original context, which most didn't bother to look for. I began to read books about the writings that did not make the cut into the Bible. I read religious authors such as Elaine Pagels and Philip Yancey. I came to the conclusion that fallible human beings had a lot to do with the formation of the Bible and I could no longer view it as the inerrant word of God. Bible studies were interesting when we delved into the contradictions and the context. I didn't mind having my faith challenged. It made it stronger.
Working with Pastors, I encountered some who were gay but couldn't be "out" about it yet. Eventually, this topic and gay marriage would divide my denomination. My faith tells me that people who are born a certain way are not "sinners" any more than being left-handed is, something that was once considered a "sin." In any case, it doesn't matter because we are all sinners, and I won't judge anyone in that regard.
Lutherans believe in justification by faith alone. I've sorted of drifted from that belief myself in recent years. I've already said I don't know how the afterlife works. For many years after losing someone close to me, I could feel his presence. My daughter's friends have said they can feel her, yet I can't. Is she still mad at me? Does my medication block me from feeling some things? I have had my mother come to me in dreams and show me the way a couple of times. I've also known people who are atheists talk of similar experiences. I can readily admit that I just don't know, and that's okay.
Which leads me back to the concept of justification by faith. Would God put this "requirement" on the after-life and then have entire groups of people who live a life on this planet who never have the opportunity to hear about Jesus? I don't think so. The Americas and Australia, the Far East, many islands in the Caribbean and South Pacific were not places where Christianity reached back in the day. Should I believe that these people have no chance in the after-life because they never even heard of Jesus?
In discussions with someone who is a Native American who is also a Christian, she said to me "Don't you think God and Jesus appeared to us as well, just in a different way?" That struck me as I looked at the many religions of the world and the geographic boundaries. Truly, I believe it's all the same higher power that we cannot understand that has shown itself in many different ways.
More important, it's not my job to negate those people's experiences or tell them that I am right and they are wrong, any more than the inverse is true.
I had also talked about the concept of justification by faith with one of the Pastors in regard to my Jewish friends. The concept bothered me because it comes down to the rules being changed. The answer I received was God made a convenant with them then made a different covenant with Christians. And we're all okay with that. If that's the case, then why not the other beliefs that stretch across the globe?
I've drifted from the core belief of being a Lutheran, but they haven't thrown me out of the church yet. I'm probably more in line with Unitarians at this point, but unless I'm told I can't attend my church I'll probably keep going when I can. Mornings are hard on me (case in point, today it was 10AM before I sat down with a cup of coffee). I don't go nearly as often as I should or would like to. But I read and I practice my faith in other ways. And I think that's okay.
Working with Pastors, I encountered some who were gay but couldn't be "out" about it yet. Eventually, this topic and gay marriage would divide my denomination. My faith tells me that people who are born a certain way are not "sinners" any more than being left-handed is, something that was once considered a "sin." In any case, it doesn't matter because we are all sinners, and I won't judge anyone in that regard.
Lutherans believe in justification by faith alone. I've sorted of drifted from that belief myself in recent years. I've already said I don't know how the afterlife works. For many years after losing someone close to me, I could feel his presence. My daughter's friends have said they can feel her, yet I can't. Is she still mad at me? Does my medication block me from feeling some things? I have had my mother come to me in dreams and show me the way a couple of times. I've also known people who are atheists talk of similar experiences. I can readily admit that I just don't know, and that's okay.
Which leads me back to the concept of justification by faith. Would God put this "requirement" on the after-life and then have entire groups of people who live a life on this planet who never have the opportunity to hear about Jesus? I don't think so. The Americas and Australia, the Far East, many islands in the Caribbean and South Pacific were not places where Christianity reached back in the day. Should I believe that these people have no chance in the after-life because they never even heard of Jesus?
In discussions with someone who is a Native American who is also a Christian, she said to me "Don't you think God and Jesus appeared to us as well, just in a different way?" That struck me as I looked at the many religions of the world and the geographic boundaries. Truly, I believe it's all the same higher power that we cannot understand that has shown itself in many different ways.
More important, it's not my job to negate those people's experiences or tell them that I am right and they are wrong, any more than the inverse is true.
I had also talked about the concept of justification by faith with one of the Pastors in regard to my Jewish friends. The concept bothered me because it comes down to the rules being changed. The answer I received was God made a convenant with them then made a different covenant with Christians. And we're all okay with that. If that's the case, then why not the other beliefs that stretch across the globe?
I've drifted from the core belief of being a Lutheran, but they haven't thrown me out of the church yet. I'm probably more in line with Unitarians at this point, but unless I'm told I can't attend my church I'll probably keep going when I can. Mornings are hard on me (case in point, today it was 10AM before I sat down with a cup of coffee). I don't go nearly as often as I should or would like to. But I read and I practice my faith in other ways. And I think that's okay.
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