Thoughts from the Mountain Top

I've been tossing this around in my head for quite some time.  Yes, I'm pretty liberal.  Yes, I believe in gun control.  I believe we should treat guns the same way we treat motor vehicles.  To own a gun, you should have to go through a safety course and pass a test to get a license to own and then every gun should be registered.   I also thing certain weapons and modifications should be illegal.   With the millions of guns already out there, this would not have an immediate impact, but perhaps 20-30 years down the road, things would be better.   Where I have a conflict is the background check.  To me, it's obvious we don't want people who have been convicted of a violent felony to own a gun legally.  Think of it as allowing a repeated drunk driver to have access to a motor vehicle.  There are certain times, once you've proven you cannot handle the responsibility that comes along with right of owning and operating a mot...

I grew up in a house where we commonly discussed politics at the kitchen table over dinner.  I can't say that my parents were die-hard Democrats.  The first election I remember was when I was 10 and in the 5th grade.  We followed the election at the time and I was enamored of Jimmy Carter.  I think he appealed to me in a Fred Rogers sort of way.  The next election, I can remember a discussion one night when my father announced he was voting for Reagan.  Both my mother and I were aghast.  I don't think we ever let him live it down.  He had his reasons, which at the time had largely to do with Iran.  My father did become a huge fan of Carter's after he left office and I do think he regretted that vote even without our continual harping on it. From a young age, I had empathy for those on the bottom.  I was always looking for those less fortunate and those who had been left behind, for whatever reason.  At the same time, I looked hard...

Last night I drove to my favorite theater to see Bohemian Rhapsody .  I'd heard about this film a while ago.  It was a somewhat troubled production with false starts and changes in cast and crew along the way. Bohemian Rhapsody is the story of the rock band Queen and their enigmatic front-man Freddie Mercury.  They rose to fame out of the progressive rock era of the 1970's creating an iconic sound that many tried and failed to duplicate. The film opens with scenes from the Live-Aid concert at Wembley Stadium which was one of the most memorable performances of the band.  It then cuts back to the final lineup coming together outside of a pub one night as Brian May and Roger Taylor lament the loss of their lead singer and bass player. Along comes Freddie Bulsara, who did not fit the image of a lead singer at the time, but had the voice to win them over.  The film charts their successes together and their troubled times as well, without dwelling on anything too...

I've long said that there are crazies on either end of the political spectrum.  My experience with those on the left have largely been that they don't live in the real world.  I can remember having a Dennis Kucinich supporter stay at the hotel one night during the 2008 primaries and him coming down for a discussion in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep.  When we got to the point in the discussion where we pretty much agreed I said, "That's fine but even if he were elected President, that still doesn't mean he gets his way."  The man looked at me like he didn't understand.  "A President isn't a dictator.  You have Congress, the Senate, and a whole bunch of other people who think differently." (Okay, keep in mind this was before Trump.)  His answer was "Well you make them." Today, though, I got to experience another like that, only worse.  It was on a mutual friend's page and I'm sorry I got baited into it.  ...

My friends list is shrinking today.  One of the first casualties was someone I became friends with in the work I do in the addiction awareness community.  He posted that "all of these women coming out of the woodwork 30 years down the road to ruin a man's career is bullshit!"  I have to say, many of the women we both know who have have addiction issues jumped right on him.  Some told him their rape or sexual harassment was what directly led to their addiction issues and dealing with it is part of their recovery.  Some stated they did tell, and the way they were treated by family, friends, and law enforcement afterwards was a factor in their substance abuse. 30 years ago the world was a different environment.  I can remember at 18 having a man rub up against me in the crowded subway car when I was going to training for my new job and being frozen in fear.  I said something to one of the women at the training and she brushed it off with "that stuff hap...

My hobby of geocaching largely works because of volunteers.   There is a staff at Geocaching headquarters in Seattle, but the caches that are put out for us to find are put there by “cache owners” – people who just enjoy hiding the containers for people to find.   When submitted to be listed on the site, they are approved by other volunteers – “reviewers” who make sure they are placed according to the rules. A recent discussion reminded me of my days at Epinions.   We had a great community there, too, for quite some time.   There was some compensation involved but whether you were a “Top Reviewer” providing considerable content to the site or an “Advisor” who read what was written and rated it, trying to keep the better reviews near the top of the search engine findings, it amounted to pennies per hour for the amount of time put into the site. You can see there’s a similar structure between the two.   Epinions doesn’t exist anymore, though.   ...

I'll be posting more about my recent trip to Europe over the coming weeks.  However, one thing that happened yesterday stood out for me.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My son, Danny, is one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet.  He's 18 and on the autism spectrum.  He's very high-functioning, but like most kids on the spectrum he tends to get over-stimulated at times by things around him.  The solution for most people on the spectrum is to "stim".  For him, that's bouncing around, sometimes flapping his ears or arms, and grunting, sometimes to music.  Sometimes it's just disengaging himself from the real world.  Sometimes he does this with earphones, sometimes he does it without. All his life, I've tried to give him the space to do what he needs to do.  I'll just try to let him know when it's an important time to pay attention. We didn't have any issues on the trip to Barcelona.  On the way home, however, ...

About a month ago, in a Jeep Wrangler forum, someone started a thread with how offensive he found this sentiment.  You can search the internet and find there are a lot of products with the statement "Silly boys... Jeeps are for girls" on it.  I find it to be fun.  I have it on my Wrangler.  To me, it's an empowering sentiment as for many years "girls" or "women" weren't thought of in the rough and tumble world of four-wheeling.  We were supposed to be the delicate flowers at home, ready to clean the mud off of the men when hey returned. I followed the thread for a bit and most of the posters chided him for being ridiculous.  He was truly offended by it and it became obvious that seeing this statement was something he took as a poke at his manhood.  He didn't know he person who owned the vehicle, so it wasn't a statement directed at him, it's just a general joke out there.  It doesn't say anything specific about someone's race,...

One thing I know is normal for people who have experienced traumatic events and depression is difficulty opening up to people.  It's something I struggle with quite a bit.  In addition, people who I have trusted in the past have betrayed me when I needed them.  It means people are at arm's length in general. I almost could feel that wall go up the day my daughter died.  It was like a part of me broke off and was locked away.  Subsequently, I learned people don't want to see you grieve, as much as they say they will be there.  Eventually you become a drag and they want to move on so they do, while you are still mourning.  You get the email that says your sadness is "making them sick." You live, you learn.  You put up a public facade.  Sometimes it cracks, but mostly to the outside world they see the person you know they want to see.  They don't see the "real" you - what is going on under the facade.  They don't see the nights you s...

The title is something I say kidding around every now and then, but it was true this morning when I scrolled through my Facebook feed and saw the photo here shared by not one, but two acquaintances of mine. Fuck you.  Fuck you all.  Fuck you, person who created this and fuck you, people who shared it. I looked at the person's profile (and before you chide me for not blocking out his name - he made it public, so fuck him) and of course, Trump supporter, support the troops, blind allegiance to all things right-wing.  Wanna make a bet he's never actually known a Veteran who's committed suicide?  It's just okay to trot them out and use them to score political points.  Your blind allegiance to the Orange Turd in office is part of the problem you idiotic douchebag.  Sharing a sentiment on Facebook is his version of "supporting  the troops" while doing nothing to prevent it from happening to more people.  Why not help get people elected who AREN'T cutt...

It was coming into a rough time for me already although I have to say as far as the last five years go, this has been one of the better ones.  I have a job I'm doing well at, I have good friends to hang with who I know have my back, and a fairly positive outlook. Last year wasn't so good.  I cratered pretty bad.  I can't describe the distress, but I was seriously considering checking myself into a mental hospital or other facility.  I didn't want to be here; I didn't want to do anything but lay in bed and not get up. This year, none of that. Then yesterday happened.  Anthony Bourdain, someone I greatly admire and live vicariously through, ended his life.  He's been honest about his addiction and alcoholism through the years, as well as the demons he battled.  Looking at his life, though, he seemed to have conquered those demons.  He was a very successful and admired person who brought the world into people's homes and expanded their horizons....

A friend started a discussion about this article on Yahoo: This Man Sent His Date An Invoice After She Ghosted Him The man apparently went on a date with a woman and she never responded afterward to any texts or phone calls for a second date or ever gave him an explanation.  His reaction was to send her an invoice for the cost of the date, which she put on social media. In general, it's not a polite thing to not at least give an explanation that you don't want to see someone again.  However, no one knows what transpired on the date.  Perhaps she got some vibes she didn't like and didn't want to have any contact with him again.  Perhaps she did already say there wasn't going to be another date and he wouldn't take NO for an answer.  Perhaps he thought he was entitled to something that night because he had paid for dinner and drinks.  And perhaps she was just a bitch looking for a night out and nothing else.  I'll admit it, I know girls who would go to...

Since this last election, there have been many cries for the Electoral College to be abolished.  That's something I'm not in favor of, despite the fact that a simple popular vote would have meant the candidate that I voted for would be in the White House right now. A little history for those who forget: the Electoral college was part of an agreement between the states (then colonies) to ensure the smaller states would have a voice in electing the President.  States with smaller populations would not be represented much at all without that as well as the way Congress is structured.  Candidates would only visit areas with a higher population and ignore the smaller, more rural areas of the country.  States like California, New York, Texas, and Florida would be the ones deciding the Presidency while other states would have only a small part in the process. It might sound fine on the outset if that's "your candidate" that would win in that scenario.  I'm hesitant...

Let me first disclose, for those who don't know, there is no one who takes the opioid epidemic more serious than I do.  I lost my oldest child to the epidemic.  She was smart and beautiful.  She had everything to live for and was maintaining a 3.62 GPA in nursing school while also working a full-time job.  She was not the image most people think of when you think of "heroin addict."  But here I am, with it going on five years since her addiction became undeniable and instead of getting help for it she chose to commit suicide.  Not a day goes by that I don't wish she was still here. With that in mind, I read about Donald Trump's appearance yesterday (March 19, 2018) in my state.  You know, New Hampshire.  The "drug-infested den" he describes the state as.  And drugs are truly a problem in rural areas, but that's another post. Trump came to New Hampshire, a state that is still very, very white, and pointed the blame for the drug epidemic ...

My family has enjoyed Disney World vacations for close to 30 years now.  My husband and I spent our honeymoon there in 1993.  I've been known to hop down there for a weekend to see a particular band during one of the festivals or join a group of friends who are there. I've watched the nickel and diming increase through the years.  We stayed at the Yacht Club for our honeymoon in 1993.  Including airfare, hotel & tickets it was around $3000 for 10 nights.  Nowadays they advertise "specials" that a family of four can stay at a value resort for four nights, complete with tickets, for "less than $2000."  That doesn't include airfare.  I watched park hours cut in favor of time that people could pay to be there for special events that were an extra charge.  We found ways to afford our vacations, staying in timeshares outside of Disney that gave us more options.  When the family was older and we came into a bit of money, we bought into the D...

Since joining a couple of Facebook groups for cruises I'm going on in the future. I've seen the great debate about dress codes rear its head every few days.  The lines I'm cruising on in the future - Royal Caribbean and Norwegian Cruise Lines - have "suggested" dress codes for formal nights, but allow most anything in the Main Dining Rooms except shorts, tank tops, and flip-flops.  That is about the level I enjoy which is why those lines are good for me and my family. On Royal Caribbean, it's "suggested" that on formal nights women wear cocktail dresses or evening gowns and  men should have a suit and tie or tuxedo.  It's suggested, not enforced.  I will have dresses with me - not cocktail dresses, but comfortable dresses and sandals.  My son is accompanying a group of friends and myself on a 12-night cruise this summer.  He will have khakis and a polo shirt or a button-down shirt with a Pokemon tie I bought him.  That's about as formal as we...

This is a post I've contemplated for a number of years.  There are people who will think differently about me after I've said what I need to say, but I feel the need to get this out there. The cause of these school shootings is not one thing.  It's not just bullying.  It's not just easy access to guns.  It's not just social isolation.  It's the combination of these things and the lack of compassion and empathy we've been moving to as a society that's created the perfect storm for this to happen in. Back in 1999 when we had the first mass-shooting at a school in Columbine High School, I said to some people I understood perfectly how it happened.  I understood the level of anger, despair, hopelessness, and frustration that people who are bullied face.  I had a rough time in high school.  I did have some great friends, many of whom I am still friends with today.  In that way, I wasn't totally isolated.  I was also bullied, sometimes rel...